The Life of a Navy Spouse

by Chance Myler, Contributor

A submariner’s spouse revealed that even though she is so proud of her husband for the job he does, defending the country and the making sacrifices, by always being gone – she is resentful of some aspects of the job. Haley, the submariner’s wife, expressed that her favorite saying is that “her husband lives on the boat and visits the house.”

Haley expressed that her husband has missed so many special occasions and holidays with his child and family that he can never get back. Seemingly like the family comes second to the military and his boat. Haley says she will be happy if he decides not to reenlist, but she understands his commitment to the job. However, she will be glad when he has a normal job and is home more often.

Haley expressed that when your spouse is on a submarine and is gone, all one can do is wait, worry, hope and pray they come home safe. However, one can never know until the day or two before they get home because most of their missions are dark – meaning no communication at all, not even emails. 

“It is very lonely and sad and very hard to explain to [her son] where his daddy is, since he is old enough to ask why now,” Haley said. Haley added that she never really understood how hard and lonely it would be being married to a submariner.

Haley expressed that every time he leaves, it is like she is losing him and every time her heart breaks. Adding that each time she pulls it together and goes forward, as if she is a single mom with a deceased spouse – because that is the only way to get through till the day until he is home for good.

If you are in a military family and looking for support, you can find resources on the Naval Base Kitsap Military and Family Support Center website.